good news for the GonZ., Florida's new Honorary Mayor, Sammie GonZo Mays.,

Sammie Mays,. a.k.a. Gonzo Girl., now Mayor., it's official...

the video : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSmgkJEyYnU

If it looks like a duck, walks like a
duck, and quacks like a duck,
it’s probably one of those obnoxious
rubber chickens.
Seems like only yesterday that I
was Roto-Rootered on U.S. 1 when
another car careened into my SUV.
Now, several months later, my doctor
is actually trying to wean the
pain meds from my hot, happy
little hands.
Can’t say as I blame ‘em, though.
Guess it’s a bit unsettling to see
your patient running around clutching
a rubber chicken and proclaiming
to be the new “Mayor”of the
Conch Republic.
Now for those of you who don’t
know your island history, you gotta
understand that we’re not talkin’
about just any old skanky rubber
chicken. We’re talkin’ about THE
Official, Honest-To-Goodness Florida
Keys Mayoral Rubber Chicken! And
the person who holds THE Florida
Keys Mayoral Rubber Chicken, also
holds the title of “Mayor” of the
Florida Keys.
And that, my friends, would now
be me!
Captain Al Flutie was the longest
reigning Mayor in the history of the
Florida Keys. He held THE Mayoral
Rubber Chicken and honorary office
for some thirty years. Dave Whitney,
former Publisher/Editor of the Free
Press, told me that after Flutie's
death, THE Official Florida Keys
Mayoral Rubber Chicken was auctioned
off for a whopping $18,000!
Of course being “Mayor”isn’t
about the money; it’s about all the
free cocktails. But beware: due to
the island’s unique electoral process
(i.e: he who holds THE Rubber
Chicken holds the title of “Mayor”)
the Mayor should always be very
wary of rubber chicken scams that
involve alcohol.
Anyone obsessively ogling the
chicken while buying rounds of
drinks is, most likely, an aspiring
politician and chicken thief. As the
Mayor slowly gets stewed, this no
good wing dinger is known to fly in
and grab THE Mayoral Rubber
Chicken right from under the nose
of the bleary-eyed and very hammered
Mayor. Then it’s bye-bye
office!
I am now seriously considering
having the chicken surgically
attached.
So far being the Mayor has kept
me busy struttin’ my stuff and making
promises I have no intention of
keeping. If my Rum Runner
Investiture Party at the Whistle Stop
Pub in Islamorada is any indication
of things to come, well, I spose I’ll
be doing a lot of cocktailing.
In the meantime, I need to clear
something up. Although Monroe
County Mayor Mario Di Gennaro
and I share the same moniker, our
job descriptions couldn’t be more
different.
Mayor Di Gennaro deals with the
more serious day-to-day operations
of the County -- so please direct
any gripes, moans and groans to
his office.
On the other hand, because I
was elected by chicken proxy and
deal with only surreal issues – please
send any and all invitations for dinner,
parties, public appearances,
yachting excursions and donations
to my office which is located at a
number of fine watering holes
throughout the Keys. Oh, and if
you’d like to receive one free political
favor from Mayor GoNzO , just
visit my website and mention that
you read it in TRAVELHOST. Cocka-
doodle-do!
Sammie Mays resides in the Florida
Keys and is a critically acclaimed
“Gonzo” writer (voted two-years running
"Favorite Writer" by The Mississippi
Press). Former celebrity desk reporter
for the National Enquirer, the Gonz is
a regular contributor for TRAVELHOST
Florida Keys & Key West and is also
the host for "Spotlight on the Keys"
on COMCAST Cable Channel 5. You
can reach her at :
Mayor@GonzoIsland.com
Gonzo Girl On The Loose:
Oh, Hell The New Mayor!
"Gonzo Girl" Journalist, Sammie Mays
Website : http://www.gonzoisland.com/ .