Gonzo Media Archives first year is over. In fact our year has had fourteen months but we never troubled too much about the details.
The aim of gonzo media has always been to compile archives of art work, of articles, of short stories and the ever present cultural references, society unearthed, put back together, taken apart by a thousand hands.,
it's been a good year. all of us here at the desk have been happy surprised with the random snippets of society that have rolled in to us.,
great. so we have moved to set up a new archive - same idea - just another year so another site., you will find it at www.gonzogallery.blogspot.com .,
see you there where we also present an exhibition of world art "artists of the world unite".,
happy new year and thanks for all the gems., you crazy diamonds you.,
hesq.,
REVEALED : the strange conversations in the "art" community.,
Claire Askew to Samantha, SA, Ryan, rosie, Neil, Gerald, Billectric, Nessa, Timothy, Jared, brad, BRETT, Chris, Hanna, Christina, James, Matthew, Naomi, danmussett, Sofia, Robyn, Chang, ed_ballard, Elizabeth, ella, Fox show details Jan 26 Reply
Dear All,
Just a quick note to say --
I have been nominated for New Scottish Writer of the Year 2009 for my work with Read This, One Night Stanzas and my own writing. The awards are decided by public vote and since by nomination came in late, I am trailing quite a bit! Can I ask you all a huge favour and get you to go to the following website and give me your vote? I am the only young writer on the list, the only Edinburgh writer, and one of only two poets. It would be a huge boost to Read This, too. Please do just take a couple of seconds and respond to the poll (right hand side of the site!).
http://www.realradio-scotland.co.uk/events/nomination-criteria-for-our-svas-2009-fedc/best-new-scottish-writer-2009/dut4esd1/
Thanks to all of you! Read This will now stop clogging your inboxes!
All best wishes,
Claire Askew
Poetry Co-Ordinator'this collection'poetry@thiscollection.com
Editor in ChiefRead This Magazinewww.readthismagazine.co.uk
Editor in ChiefOne Night Stanzaswww.onenightstanzas.com
gonzo media to Claire, Samantha, SA, Ryan, rosie, Neil, Gerald, Billectric, Nessa, Timothy, Jared, brad, BRETT, Chris, Hanna, Christina, James, Matthew, Naomi, danmussett, Sofia, Robyn, Chang, ed_ballard, Elizabeth, ella show details Jan 27 Reply
claire.,
you write me asking for my vote in the upcoming "new poet of the year awards 2009..." . what is this you are trying for, the X factor. the poet is not some canvassing electable candidate. a good poem as bukowski would have said is like a "good hot beer shit, it's just done, there it is, nothing to analyse..." to be a good poet - a poet of the year as you might say - is not to get the most votes (! i feel a fool for even saying this!)... there is no scale on which to judge... you know this in your heart? i guess you do.. but perhaps you're a poet like obama, breaking rules and boundaries without saying a single honest heart felt word and standing unashamed for all to see..? when the beautiful art of poetry is corrupted through the canvassing of votes i humbly put the point that it is time to make your own path, to rise above your own vanity and forge a way that is the truth that is honest and not be subdued and personally degraded as an artist by the ugly art of P.R. and canvassing votes. ee cummings (a poet - if you know, i'm sure you do) once said "seeker of truth follow no paths for all paths lead where truth is here..." he was right. the poet was never meant to chase votes or follow opinion polls, no, the poet ought to forge the way following their own great mysterious light and by following that light with all their heart and life make it known through the beauty and magic of their art, not through calculations of votes and swaying a silent listening majority, the poet ought instead to give to their loved ones, those strange collections of audiences, a part of themselves for ever to keep, to give without generousity their whole being and not ask for anything in return, not barter for their votes but give them surprising beauty through the truthfulness of their words. i also want to ask you, "how long have you been a poet"? one year, two years, or in 2009 or 2487 have you come of maturity, come of age? no, you have been a poet and an artist, a secret traveller of the heart since you were born.. no vote can change that. no election can decide whether or not it's true... so i ask you to abandon this display of vanity and once more take up the path of the poet. a poet is not a piece of paper, a poet is not an election result, a poet seeks not to sway opinion through barter but through truth and beauty, a poet is not made in a year or a century but reflects the wild currents of their times in ways that surpass the meaning of their words (and here is the lyric, the magic, the song of their words.. you know this claire i'm sure you do,..) i have taken the liberty of copying this footnote in the evolution of culture to those whom you sent this message to. i'm sure you wouldn't mind. before i sign off, i want you to listen to it from another of our brethren say it better than i ever could... http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=NIoXV-HXobo yours sincerley, a trouble-worried loving heart,. hesq.,
REPLY FROM CLAIRE ASKEW :
Thanks for sending this round 1/3 of the RT mailing list, Gonzo. This morning I woke up to 99 emails in my inbox (I shit you not) -- mostly messages of support telling me what a pretentious dick you were, and to ignore you.
Since you ask -- I was nominated based on my writing, and also for my work with RT, One Night Stanzas and various other projects around Edinburgh. Were I not a deserving candidate, I wouldn't have been nominated (but if you don't believe me, Google "Claire Askew" + poet and see what comes up). As for the public vote thing -- yes, it's open to abuse, and I wish there was a little profile or something on there so people could see my writing, but really, I was asking people on the RT mailing list to vote for me based on their opinion of Read This. If you don't think RT deserves an award, just don't vote. It's fairly simple.
I'll take you off the mailing list so you don't get anything else that flings you into laughable diatribe (I dread to think how long you spent writing this garbage -- some of the people who emailed me back had obviously read it all... I'm afraid I got pretty bored pretty quick). And you don't really need to contact us again -- every time we've had a submission from you, we've had a good laugh at how terrible it is, but we can live without that little distraction in future I think.
Best of luck on your, er, righteous path...!
Claire...
Dear All,
Just a quick note to say --
I have been nominated for New Scottish Writer of the Year 2009 for my work with Read This, One Night Stanzas and my own writing. The awards are decided by public vote and since by nomination came in late, I am trailing quite a bit! Can I ask you all a huge favour and get you to go to the following website and give me your vote? I am the only young writer on the list, the only Edinburgh writer, and one of only two poets. It would be a huge boost to Read This, too. Please do just take a couple of seconds and respond to the poll (right hand side of the site!).
http://www.realradio-scotland.co.uk/events/nomination-criteria-for-our-svas-2009-fedc/best-new-scottish-writer-2009/dut4esd1/
Thanks to all of you! Read This will now stop clogging your inboxes!
All best wishes,
Claire Askew
Poetry Co-Ordinator'this collection'poetry@thiscollection.com
Editor in ChiefRead This Magazinewww.readthismagazine.co.uk
Editor in ChiefOne Night Stanzaswww.onenightstanzas.com
gonzo media to Claire, Samantha, SA, Ryan, rosie, Neil, Gerald, Billectric, Nessa, Timothy, Jared, brad, BRETT, Chris, Hanna, Christina, James, Matthew, Naomi, danmussett, Sofia, Robyn, Chang, ed_ballard, Elizabeth, ella show details Jan 27 Reply
claire.,
you write me asking for my vote in the upcoming "new poet of the year awards 2009..." . what is this you are trying for, the X factor. the poet is not some canvassing electable candidate. a good poem as bukowski would have said is like a "good hot beer shit, it's just done, there it is, nothing to analyse..." to be a good poet - a poet of the year as you might say - is not to get the most votes (! i feel a fool for even saying this!)... there is no scale on which to judge... you know this in your heart? i guess you do.. but perhaps you're a poet like obama, breaking rules and boundaries without saying a single honest heart felt word and standing unashamed for all to see..? when the beautiful art of poetry is corrupted through the canvassing of votes i humbly put the point that it is time to make your own path, to rise above your own vanity and forge a way that is the truth that is honest and not be subdued and personally degraded as an artist by the ugly art of P.R. and canvassing votes. ee cummings (a poet - if you know, i'm sure you do) once said "seeker of truth follow no paths for all paths lead where truth is here..." he was right. the poet was never meant to chase votes or follow opinion polls, no, the poet ought to forge the way following their own great mysterious light and by following that light with all their heart and life make it known through the beauty and magic of their art, not through calculations of votes and swaying a silent listening majority, the poet ought instead to give to their loved ones, those strange collections of audiences, a part of themselves for ever to keep, to give without generousity their whole being and not ask for anything in return, not barter for their votes but give them surprising beauty through the truthfulness of their words. i also want to ask you, "how long have you been a poet"? one year, two years, or in 2009 or 2487 have you come of maturity, come of age? no, you have been a poet and an artist, a secret traveller of the heart since you were born.. no vote can change that. no election can decide whether or not it's true... so i ask you to abandon this display of vanity and once more take up the path of the poet. a poet is not a piece of paper, a poet is not an election result, a poet seeks not to sway opinion through barter but through truth and beauty, a poet is not made in a year or a century but reflects the wild currents of their times in ways that surpass the meaning of their words (and here is the lyric, the magic, the song of their words.. you know this claire i'm sure you do,..) i have taken the liberty of copying this footnote in the evolution of culture to those whom you sent this message to. i'm sure you wouldn't mind. before i sign off, i want you to listen to it from another of our brethren say it better than i ever could... http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=NIoXV-HXobo yours sincerley, a trouble-worried loving heart,. hesq.,
REPLY FROM CLAIRE ASKEW :
Thanks for sending this round 1/3 of the RT mailing list, Gonzo. This morning I woke up to 99 emails in my inbox (I shit you not) -- mostly messages of support telling me what a pretentious dick you were, and to ignore you.
Since you ask -- I was nominated based on my writing, and also for my work with RT, One Night Stanzas and various other projects around Edinburgh. Were I not a deserving candidate, I wouldn't have been nominated (but if you don't believe me, Google "Claire Askew" + poet and see what comes up). As for the public vote thing -- yes, it's open to abuse, and I wish there was a little profile or something on there so people could see my writing, but really, I was asking people on the RT mailing list to vote for me based on their opinion of Read This. If you don't think RT deserves an award, just don't vote. It's fairly simple.
I'll take you off the mailing list so you don't get anything else that flings you into laughable diatribe (I dread to think how long you spent writing this garbage -- some of the people who emailed me back had obviously read it all... I'm afraid I got pretty bored pretty quick). And you don't really need to contact us again -- every time we've had a submission from you, we've had a good laugh at how terrible it is, but we can live without that little distraction in future I think.
Best of luck on your, er, righteous path...!
Claire...
A heady mix., c/o : Dr. Zimbadean.,
Agoraphobia. Cabin fever. Endemic paranoia. Nightmare wet dreams of anarchy. Fantasies of ultra-violence directed at the innocent.
A Cocktail recipe for A heady mix.
And Garnished with out of body experiences of seemingly random criminal acts and wild displays of poetic terrorism. Shaking with screaming eyes and hands the sleepers from their sleep.
But when analysed and replayed in the deep cold sweat of curled foetal shivering listening to the heart beat erratically it makes a perfect sense...
The mall creature is clawing back its own identity. The mall creature has been bent too far out of shape and it lurches between insane acts of social violence and docile servility. Like a pendulum counting out the internal time till ground zero is reached once more on the face of this clock, heaving within the restraints of the numerals printed - like an undisciphered code - in a clear black font mapping out legal legitimate time for all to see. But what horrors are being suppressed within the lurid and pornographic time zone of the cult of the Shopping Mall? What sacrifice will the 2 for 1 offer eventually ask of each and every one of its Faithful followers? What can the subliminal command "70% discount on selected lines for a limited time only" possibly mean in the mind of a mall creature?
Time as an index of value. Value being denoted by temporal points of reference,. inflation when value increases over time and deflation when values decrease over time. What can our mall creature make of this? Time no longer the passage through space but its evacuation. And as our Mall Creature prepares for the final evacuation of space to pass into the realm of pure relative value denoted by time, what will it be forced to leave behind? When value no longer refers to space and its contents but time and its control what will Mall Creature mutate into? Some kind of super rubix-cube covered in temporal destinations over laid with abstracted values? Is the Mall Creature a Time Traveller, a Temoral Nomadic Being escaped the bondage of space, or a Victim of the Total War against its own sense of Time, warped into a state of semi-comprehension constantly obeying contradictory commands?
Eventually the imbalances will cause the rift to erupt into a series of seamless tragedies. An exhibition of atrocities. A house of vile energies. The mall creature must keep silent, masking what’s within; for if it shared its inner emptiness it would be in a constant state of implosion : like a black hole, taking all the light with it on that suffocating inner journey to the centre of where it started out from.
Is it possible that We live in a society of black holes that wear more and more glitter and shiny things to avert attention from what is going on underneath?
Perhaps. Perhaps not. But whatever else you don't do., please Mix this cocktail with care and discretion.
Inevitably though., Whatever happens, one day sooner than you'd think, even the mall creature will refuse its consent, or else be swallowed into the void of its own non-being.
*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROn_9302UHg*
Dr. Zimbadean., (a leading psycho-analyst at the insititute for consumer well-being and part time voodoo witch-doctor).
celebrity end game., c/o : the deep blue dreams.,
so jade goody has cancer. its spreading. she has been given months to live. we get to watch the brutal destruction of her body in front of our unbelieving eyes... it is a tragdy. very few people can deserve the suffering that cancer brings., and though goody is a racist, stupid and, as much as i hate to say it, she's probably not going to be one of those who find a cure for cancer... it is still sad to see her suffer like this., just as watching scientific experiments on animals is heart rendering so is this.
what ever you may or may not think about all this, it sells. somewhere inside the majority want to see someone else suffer, witness with a tight stomach another person's demise. plato always maintained that democracy would descend into tyranny. he was speaking of a city state but the meaning applies here as well. the majority have decided that it is fit to display images of grotesque personal suffering in the public sphere, and not only that, consent to profits being made from the act of doing so. what is it about a fully grown woman facing the end of her life in a bathroom and breaking down - not hysterically, just with the inevitability of it all - that makes us fork out our wallets and hand over the cash..? the tyranny of the eye. television - literally vision at a distance. real enough to feel but far enough away not to make any difference to our own lives.
but the celebrity cult is constantly in danger of loosing its shock factor. just like the economy requires inflation to maintain its steady pace (if prices are constantly rising - especially if they rise quicker than real wages do - the buyer is encouraged to buy now now now now always now not tomorrow... and therein lies the danger of deflation., that consumption might slow down, that people might not spend spend spend but sit tight and wait for prices to fall - cutting profits - and if this were to continue for long enough the whole system would come to a standstill... remember that...) . but the celebrity industry is a mirror of the economy in reverse. its not inflation that drives it but deflation, or degradation. the quest is to find out how far people are prepared to degrade themselves and their privacy to be famous. the "game shows" where celebrities are made fools - big brother to name one where even elected MPs have partaken - where they eat insects, perform acts that would not be out of place in hard core dominatrix porn movies., and all to stay in the public eye. of course, its not really that which they seek., they are bought, they do so at a price (orwell "a bought mind is a spoiled mind"). they are paid big money to do these things but all the while its generally hush hush that its not the public eye they desire (though some do i suspect) . in truth it is the public who wants to feel like they own the celebrities. and that's really the whole point of this grand sharade. when we see these human beings degrading themselves they are in our hands., or at least in our field of vision. they entertain us. we think, i won't do that. we think they're just like us and that brings us hope in our trampled down futile solitary lives., yes this is the essence of the celebrity cult. we pay for it so that we can relieve ourselves of the guilt of not living our own lives the way we had dreamed them to be and so we make them suffer in front of us... its worth remembering that christianity - undoubtedly the religion of the western consumer world is fundmentally based on human sacrifice - jesus died in agony to save us from our sins...
jade goody does have cancer and it is spreading. but there is a metaphoric cancer also that she has succumbed to. a recent series of the big brother program was getting pretty bad ratings. basically people had figured out that it was boring. so jade goody was brought in adhoc almost it must have seemed to viewers, and within minutes of entering the big brother house she was making racist slurs against an attractive indian film star. of course in a country such as the uk where racism is endemic (to the point where we have our own ministry of truth which dictates what we can and cannot say - goes under the general name of political correctness but do not miss what it truly is, it is censorship of speach to a terrifying degree that requires us to "duck speak" whenever confronted with someone who is not white middle class and fairly well educated and institutionalised - in other words we repeat words and thoughts that we were told to use in these situations., positive discrimination is one of the ministry's greatest acheivements., and jesus wept., )
now before this drifts into the realms of a tirade,. let me tie it back together. the celebrity culture and the economy is the story of jade goody. jade goody once heralded as a working class hero for being the most popular person in a house where she and other "contestants" were incaserated, watched by uncountable cameras and on the other end uncountable eyes, where the contestants were deliberately encouraged to fall out and argue (live pain and hurt are good for tv ratings)., then after she'd sold all the newspapers and filthy rags that she could she was reintroduced as a racist (something which we are allowed by law to hate, and more importantly to publically get together and hate - this also sells newspapers...) and now finally the circle is complete. we can't hate someone who has cancer. that would be un-PC as the jargon goes, it would be too wrong to hate someone for whatever reason who now has cancer and is prepared to publically humiliate herself and share all her trivial concerns. and so now we in our hearts make the transition back again to loving her, poor her, how she is suffering. and we become complicit to the whole pantomime., and though i do not wish to be the voice of cruel truth surely it's sadder that kids all around the world are dying of thirst or diseases that we can cure simply because we don't really care as much as we do about this grotesque maronnete
perhaps next, after a "black" president the usa can vote in a man who is actually suffering from terminal cancer, with only a matter of weeks or days to live after his puppet inauguration, perhaps then the nation would know what it is to love... positive discrimination is another way of terming nationalism., or today, the requirements of the consumer society. each week several people are refused entry to the UK on the grounds of their political or social beliefs, yet as a nation we are happy - in fact pay - to watch a pathetic woman dying without any dignity in our own living rooms... and what's more, we sleep just fine after watching it...
so here's a clip of this woman :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krpFoZN8nSs .
perhaps we're all secretly glad that she's been taken down a notch. who did she think she was anyway. someone like that was probably bound to get cancer it can't be totally random, i mean take smokers, they deserve it too... or maybe, her death is ours. perhaps we all share in the crime. or perhaps, just maybe, this is the beginning of the end game of the celebrity cult.
*
what ever you may or may not think about all this, it sells. somewhere inside the majority want to see someone else suffer, witness with a tight stomach another person's demise. plato always maintained that democracy would descend into tyranny. he was speaking of a city state but the meaning applies here as well. the majority have decided that it is fit to display images of grotesque personal suffering in the public sphere, and not only that, consent to profits being made from the act of doing so. what is it about a fully grown woman facing the end of her life in a bathroom and breaking down - not hysterically, just with the inevitability of it all - that makes us fork out our wallets and hand over the cash..? the tyranny of the eye. television - literally vision at a distance. real enough to feel but far enough away not to make any difference to our own lives.
but the celebrity cult is constantly in danger of loosing its shock factor. just like the economy requires inflation to maintain its steady pace (if prices are constantly rising - especially if they rise quicker than real wages do - the buyer is encouraged to buy now now now now always now not tomorrow... and therein lies the danger of deflation., that consumption might slow down, that people might not spend spend spend but sit tight and wait for prices to fall - cutting profits - and if this were to continue for long enough the whole system would come to a standstill... remember that...) . but the celebrity industry is a mirror of the economy in reverse. its not inflation that drives it but deflation, or degradation. the quest is to find out how far people are prepared to degrade themselves and their privacy to be famous. the "game shows" where celebrities are made fools - big brother to name one where even elected MPs have partaken - where they eat insects, perform acts that would not be out of place in hard core dominatrix porn movies., and all to stay in the public eye. of course, its not really that which they seek., they are bought, they do so at a price (orwell "a bought mind is a spoiled mind"). they are paid big money to do these things but all the while its generally hush hush that its not the public eye they desire (though some do i suspect) . in truth it is the public who wants to feel like they own the celebrities. and that's really the whole point of this grand sharade. when we see these human beings degrading themselves they are in our hands., or at least in our field of vision. they entertain us. we think, i won't do that. we think they're just like us and that brings us hope in our trampled down futile solitary lives., yes this is the essence of the celebrity cult. we pay for it so that we can relieve ourselves of the guilt of not living our own lives the way we had dreamed them to be and so we make them suffer in front of us... its worth remembering that christianity - undoubtedly the religion of the western consumer world is fundmentally based on human sacrifice - jesus died in agony to save us from our sins...
jade goody does have cancer and it is spreading. but there is a metaphoric cancer also that she has succumbed to. a recent series of the big brother program was getting pretty bad ratings. basically people had figured out that it was boring. so jade goody was brought in adhoc almost it must have seemed to viewers, and within minutes of entering the big brother house she was making racist slurs against an attractive indian film star. of course in a country such as the uk where racism is endemic (to the point where we have our own ministry of truth which dictates what we can and cannot say - goes under the general name of political correctness but do not miss what it truly is, it is censorship of speach to a terrifying degree that requires us to "duck speak" whenever confronted with someone who is not white middle class and fairly well educated and institutionalised - in other words we repeat words and thoughts that we were told to use in these situations., positive discrimination is one of the ministry's greatest acheivements., and jesus wept., )
now before this drifts into the realms of a tirade,. let me tie it back together. the celebrity culture and the economy is the story of jade goody. jade goody once heralded as a working class hero for being the most popular person in a house where she and other "contestants" were incaserated, watched by uncountable cameras and on the other end uncountable eyes, where the contestants were deliberately encouraged to fall out and argue (live pain and hurt are good for tv ratings)., then after she'd sold all the newspapers and filthy rags that she could she was reintroduced as a racist (something which we are allowed by law to hate, and more importantly to publically get together and hate - this also sells newspapers...) and now finally the circle is complete. we can't hate someone who has cancer. that would be un-PC as the jargon goes, it would be too wrong to hate someone for whatever reason who now has cancer and is prepared to publically humiliate herself and share all her trivial concerns. and so now we in our hearts make the transition back again to loving her, poor her, how she is suffering. and we become complicit to the whole pantomime., and though i do not wish to be the voice of cruel truth surely it's sadder that kids all around the world are dying of thirst or diseases that we can cure simply because we don't really care as much as we do about this grotesque maronnete
perhaps next, after a "black" president the usa can vote in a man who is actually suffering from terminal cancer, with only a matter of weeks or days to live after his puppet inauguration, perhaps then the nation would know what it is to love... positive discrimination is another way of terming nationalism., or today, the requirements of the consumer society. each week several people are refused entry to the UK on the grounds of their political or social beliefs, yet as a nation we are happy - in fact pay - to watch a pathetic woman dying without any dignity in our own living rooms... and what's more, we sleep just fine after watching it...
so here's a clip of this woman :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krpFoZN8nSs .
perhaps we're all secretly glad that she's been taken down a notch. who did she think she was anyway. someone like that was probably bound to get cancer it can't be totally random, i mean take smokers, they deserve it too... or maybe, her death is ours. perhaps we all share in the crime. or perhaps, just maybe, this is the beginning of the end game of the celebrity cult.
*
painting..."because a painting has a life of its own i try to let it live" j. pollock.,
jackson pollock painting and speaking about it., *
good news for the GonZ., Florida's new Honorary Mayor, Sammie GonZo Mays.,
Sammie Mays,. a.k.a. Gonzo Girl., now Mayor., it's official...
the video : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSmgkJEyYnU
If it looks like a duck, walks like a
duck, and quacks like a duck,
it’s probably one of those obnoxious
rubber chickens.
Seems like only yesterday that I
was Roto-Rootered on U.S. 1 when
another car careened into my SUV.
Now, several months later, my doctor
is actually trying to wean the
pain meds from my hot, happy
little hands.
Can’t say as I blame ‘em, though.
Guess it’s a bit unsettling to see
your patient running around clutching
a rubber chicken and proclaiming
to be the new “Mayor”of the
Conch Republic.
Now for those of you who don’t
know your island history, you gotta
understand that we’re not talkin’
about just any old skanky rubber
chicken. We’re talkin’ about THE
Official, Honest-To-Goodness Florida
Keys Mayoral Rubber Chicken! And
the person who holds THE Florida
Keys Mayoral Rubber Chicken, also
holds the title of “Mayor” of the
Florida Keys.
And that, my friends, would now
be me!
Captain Al Flutie was the longest
reigning Mayor in the history of the
Florida Keys. He held THE Mayoral
Rubber Chicken and honorary office
for some thirty years. Dave Whitney,
former Publisher/Editor of the Free
Press, told me that after Flutie's
death, THE Official Florida Keys
Mayoral Rubber Chicken was auctioned
off for a whopping $18,000!
Of course being “Mayor”isn’t
about the money; it’s about all the
free cocktails. But beware: due to
the island’s unique electoral process
(i.e: he who holds THE Rubber
Chicken holds the title of “Mayor”)
the Mayor should always be very
wary of rubber chicken scams that
involve alcohol.
Anyone obsessively ogling the
chicken while buying rounds of
drinks is, most likely, an aspiring
politician and chicken thief. As the
Mayor slowly gets stewed, this no
good wing dinger is known to fly in
and grab THE Mayoral Rubber
Chicken right from under the nose
of the bleary-eyed and very hammered
Mayor. Then it’s bye-bye
office!
I am now seriously considering
having the chicken surgically
attached.
So far being the Mayor has kept
me busy struttin’ my stuff and making
promises I have no intention of
keeping. If my Rum Runner
Investiture Party at the Whistle Stop
Pub in Islamorada is any indication
of things to come, well, I spose I’ll
be doing a lot of cocktailing.
In the meantime, I need to clear
something up. Although Monroe
County Mayor Mario Di Gennaro
and I share the same moniker, our
job descriptions couldn’t be more
different.
Mayor Di Gennaro deals with the
more serious day-to-day operations
of the County -- so please direct
any gripes, moans and groans to
his office.
On the other hand, because I
was elected by chicken proxy and
deal with only surreal issues – please
send any and all invitations for dinner,
parties, public appearances,
yachting excursions and donations
to my office which is located at a
number of fine watering holes
throughout the Keys. Oh, and if
you’d like to receive one free political
favor from Mayor GoNzO , just
visit my website and mention that
you read it in TRAVELHOST. Cocka-
doodle-do!
Sammie Mays resides in the Florida
Keys and is a critically acclaimed
“Gonzo” writer (voted two-years running
"Favorite Writer" by The Mississippi
Press). Former celebrity desk reporter
for the National Enquirer, the Gonz is
a regular contributor for TRAVELHOST
Florida Keys & Key West and is also
the host for "Spotlight on the Keys"
on COMCAST Cable Channel 5. You
can reach her at :
Mayor@GonzoIsland.com
Gonzo Girl On The Loose:
Oh, Hell The New Mayor!
"Gonzo Girl" Journalist, Sammie Mays
Website : http://www.gonzoisland.com/ .
sammie mays, the gonzo girl wears beard of bees...
one of our cousins across the water may be on to something... working for the National Enquirer at the time, a british run tabloid, sammie braved the bees for the bucks., here's to the GoNz.
http://saminthekeys.com/BeeBeard.aspx .
http://saminthekeys.com/BeeBeard.aspx .
the only cocktail that's guaranteed to make you feel surreal...
the surrealist:
ingredients :
50 ml scotch whisky
25 ml cointreau
good splash of fresh orange juice
1/2 lime
& plenty of free time.method :
add whisky, cointreau, fresh orange juice, 1/2 fresh lime sliced and ice cubes to shaker. shake well. pour over crushed ice into highball glass. garnish with slice of lime.
repeat process until you feel "surreal"... guaranteed results.
the sweetest tori amos...
now there's one you'd want to whizzgiggle at you...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRrbzs1lGME&feature=PlayList&p=2EDF38E67C7530F9&index=1 .
lets go...high high happy happy ho ho...
and on that note, here's one to watch, the gillyflowers, a great scotch band.,
here, in the voodoo rooms, edina., http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=835aTcjYF2o .,
here, on their myspace - more mellow than the live show above : http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=386878991 .,
dolls always whizzgiggled at me... c/o : Guesswork site..
spam mail as beat inspired?
http://www.guesswork.ca/blog/?p=284
i guess your guess is as good as ours...
http://www.guesswork.ca/blog/?p=284
i guess your guess is as good as ours...
Erotic supper on the beach at Aguadulce., c/o Geoff Cervantes.,
2001,33x24,oil on canvas.Inspired by the night of San Juan,which is celebrated throughout Spain,in the month of June.
"the day i swam the channel"., c/o : geoff cervantes.,
The day I swam the English Channel.1995.33x24,oil on canvas.Geoff Cervantes says "Probably my greatest artistic acheivment... I've always wanted to be a fish."
to see more of Cervantes' work, please visit his own site : www.artmajeur.com/axis . it's a stunning journey through the mind of a surrealist., and one you can't fail to enjoy.
a true classic c/o : lee whiteman.
Depicting Three Death metal fans Singing "Got my mind set on you" by P McCartney. In to a Playstation, Singstar game in a Luxury Bultlins holiday chalet. Title "Got my mind set on you" Dimension 125 x210 cm. mixed on canvas 2009.
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